LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
