Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
