Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
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The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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