ya dads aren't the best wingmen
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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