I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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