Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize