my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize