Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
