I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
