All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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