walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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