k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
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Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
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He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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