Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
