He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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