You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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