You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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