After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize