you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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