i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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