Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
