Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
