hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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