Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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