Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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