Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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