the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
