If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
