i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
