Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I had to cum in my sink.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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