We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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