You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
