The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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