Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
