I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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