oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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