I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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