is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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