is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
