sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
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