It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
