Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize