check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
