I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
