Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Still dying that you shit outside
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
