Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dear god my vagina.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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