yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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