The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
