white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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