Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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