I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize