How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
