I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
