No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
