I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
