He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
