Sponge bath it is.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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